How to sleep?

Posted bySamuel LawrentzPosted inHumor, humour, sarcasmTags:, , , ,

I’ve seen many people, including me, struggling to sleep. After many hours of research and attaining divine knowledge at 3 a.m, I’m writing this post for my fellow human beings so that this knowledge would be passed down to generations. Sleep is a gift. Sleep is a time-traveling portal. Sleep is what people do at night.. (most people 😀) . So, why is it that we find it difficult to sleep on time?

Every day I would target to sleep by 10pm and end up sleeping by 1 or 2am. What happened? My inner soul that is awake tells me that, people can only sleep if their mind is ready to sleep. Sometimes the body gets ready to sleep 2 hours earlier before you can actually sleep. The mind stays awake, making you do some mischievous and stupid things. Even when your body tries to sleep, your mind won’t allow it.

Tips for Sleeping

After great research I’ve gathered this list of simple techniques that helps you to sleep faster. Make sure you follow them. May the force be with you! Okay, so here we go,

  1. Put your mobile phone away, keep it 6ft away from you. (social distancing 😄)
  2. Turn OFF your TV, if possible, unplug it from the power source.
  3. Don’t give place to “Just one more episode”. You will sleep only when the whole season is complete.
  4. Ask your talkative sibling/friend to shut the crap up.
  5. Most importantly, turn OFF the damn light.
  6. Just lie down on the bed.
  7. Turn OFF your mind and all equipments that generate noise.
  8. Stop overthinking about problems that never exist.
  9. Imagine a calm place. A place where you feel secure and comfortable (not the bathroom 😀).
  10. Finally, you have to sleep. (Yes, what else did you expect? Some magic spell? 🤷🧙‍♀️)

Okay folks, so I’ve shared some eternal tips for sleeping 😀. Please let me know in the comments if you follow any other secrets, it would be helpful for others. Also, this is a sarcastic post, please take it light. Hope you all enjoyed reading. Stay tuned. More to come..! Have a good night..!. 😀😴

If you want to know what happens while you sleep, continue reading my other post – Going to Sleep?

Offshore Writings

Published by Samuel Lawrentz

I'm an author, poet at OffshoreWritings.com. I'm also a frontend developer and a musician. 😊

97 thoughts on “How to sleep?”

    1. Yeah.. a real struggle.. Then, I think you should go to sleep by 2am – Modern problems require modern solutions.. 😄

      Just Kidding.. Wishing you could get better sleep.. Take care Ritish.. and thank you for the positive comment.. Your words motivate me to write more.. Keep supporting..! Keep motivating..! Have a nice day..!

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  8. Pingback: How to sleep? – MobsterTiger

  9. I go through this every single night. What works most of the time is to read a book that is so agonizingly boring that your brain disengages. But be careful! When it works, if you’re not laying properly, you will wake up when the book smacks you in the face because it’s angry you found it boring 😄
    Seriously though, if you can a boring book (with PAPER!) with teeny tiny print, you will fall asleep. But it will take you a few nights of getting beaten up by an inanimate object before you find that perfect balance.
    Sleep well! 🌛

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    1. Lol.. I enjoyed reading this comment.. Exactly..! You should try reading some academic books.. They have the power to put you to sleep instantly..

      Thank you Marla.. Your positive words motivate me to write more..! Keep supporting..! Have a great day..!

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      1. Actually academic books are horrendous, but they could be interesting. Pick one on a subject that bares little resemblance to your personal interests. So, if, as far as your personal theory goes, birds only exist for teo reasons: to poop in your can the day you it washed, or to poop on your head the day you got it styled, then get a book about birdwatching which explains this one v that ones claws. Goooood niiiiiight! 😂
        Or a book that should be sold WITH a dictionary. The author is a poor author to start with and doesn’t bother to write to connect with his audience (s)he just wants to use long and convoluted wording. Your brain will say “I’m bored. Let’s think about something else” and when you don’t, it goes to bed. It’s as good as any pharmaceutical option out there. But it has to be BORING to you. It’s probably an interesting page Turner to someone else, but to you it’s almost torture. Only do academic texts if your actually in school. They only have extraordinary powers then LOL

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  10. Love the post man. ❤️💐💐✨
    Same issues with me.

    Still in doubt 🧐, either put my smartphone away from me or not.

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    1. Haha lol.. Currently, I’m in the process of learning that spell… 😄🧙‍♀️ I shall teach you after that..!

      Thank you Vigus for your positive comment..! Keep supporting and motivating..! Have a great day..!

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  16. Pingback: How to sleep? – kidolikid

  17. Great post. Here is one more tip that I apply from time to time. Read a thick science or an engineering book that is a part of your syllabus. Trust me this magic trick works within a few minutes.

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    1. Lol.. 😂😂
      I definitely agree with you..! Everyone should try Digital Signal Processing or Engineering Mathematics IV.

      These books, have the immense power to put you to sleep just by looking at the cover.. 😂

      How did I forget this tip..? Thank you shami for reminding me this…!

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    2. haha lol.. You would have been confused for a moment I guess like “Where did he go?”. I could imagine.
      Yeah, sometimes I sleep a lot to an extent that it would take some time for me to figure out what time of the day it is.. 😂

      As always thank you for the comment..! Keep supporting..!

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      1. Sam 🤣 so true.. at least i know my name today and where I am… lol. Skipped Fri-Yay Fun Day b cause… I mean what the hell is fun about a 7 a.m. dentist appointment. 😝.
        My pleasure always!❣️

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  22. Your post perfectly describes a common modern dilemma and your remedies are spot on! Loved the point on social distancing …with your phone LOL, very well said haha. On a serious note I would add slow long smooth breathing along with calming environment/visualization, especially longer exhalations do the trick 🙂

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    1. Haha lol.. Thank you..! Yeah phone is the main culprit that delays our sleep and interrupts our sleep cycle.

      Also thank you for sharing some valuable tips on sleeping.. I will try them and let you know the results. Slow breathing helps a lot.

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  23. The struggles to fall asleep!! See I am sacrificing my sleep to read this post on how to fall asleep. Such irony🤦‍♀️.
    I have heard one more tip that if you blink your eyes rapidly it helps falling asleep 😂😂. Never tried though.

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    1. Haha.. irony..! Yeah, the struggle is real..! Getting sleep nowadays is like doing a difficult job..!

      Oh is it? Blinking eyes may bring sleep because our eyelids might get tired by blinking..! Okay.. lets both try that tip and see if it works..! 😀 Have a great day..!

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    1. Haha lol.. Thank you..! I’m glad you liked it Dhirendra.. Yeah sleep is a very important aspect of life, which most people ignore.
      Thanks for the motivating comment..! Keep supporting..! More to come..!

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    1. Haha lol.. And what is that spell Marie??! And a quick question..? You have such a nice name.. I just wanted to know how most people would call you? I suppose it’s Gabriela?

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  26. I am a sleepy head in day time but as soon as night come my brain is like “nope ain’t happening” “remember that day in 6th grade when you were_____” 😶😶😶😶
    I will follow your tips tho

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    1. Haha shit yeah..! Same here Vani..! When we try to sleep, brain would be like.. “Okay its show time, let’s play all the dumb moments of your life” 😂
      haha sure.. let me know after following my tips, if you were able to sleep? 😂

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      1. ummm for the first day…
        I kept my mobile away away away from me, closed my eyes , trying to forget the fact that I slept for 3 hours in afternoon already and suddenly my brain goes like
        “Hey what date is on Diwali this year!??” And I am like “what, I will see it tomorrow morning ” but my brain is like “no not right now” , I don’t know what happened next but Diwali is on 4 nov this year 😂😂😂😅😅

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  27. Wowwww!! This post is really hilarious.. I enjoyed reading.. even me too struggle to sleep.. and great tips.. sure, will try today.. I love your writing skills.. it’s really fantastic and interesting!! I loved this post.. Your post is always a marvelous piece!! Reading your post is like reading a book of kindness, motivation, self love and some funny things etc…. It’s really fantastic.. Keep shinning!!☺️☺️🤗

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        1. In school staff says without food we can’t live.. but now what we are saying without phone we can’t life.. this generation became like this!!😂😂🤣

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  30. Omg so funny!!! This is a great post, your writing is always entertaining! I love when you said “not the bathroom” 😂😂😂. Great job, my friend! Your humor is uplifting!!

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        1. Aww thanks Ace..! This comment made my day.. Sorry for the late reply..! I was not able to check WP last two days as I was caught up with some work.
          I just wanted to say, you motivate us to write more and more..! Thank you!

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